


send me a kiss by wire

by closedcaptioning



Series: sdr2/drv3 crossover rarepairs [5]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Crossover, M/M, Rare Pairings, and kii "my existence is my ultimate talent" bo, featuring: kazuichi "ultimate oblivious idiot" soda, guest appearance from sonia "never mind me" nevermind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 02:00:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30031302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/closedcaptioning/pseuds/closedcaptioning
Summary: All of K1-B0's information on human relations has been obtained through databases or programming - with the exception of his interactions with a certain Ultimate Mechanic.Of course, those interactions don't always conform to the neat pattern that the data presents.
Relationships: K1-B0/Soda Kazuichi
Series: sdr2/drv3 crossover rarepairs [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2206776
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	send me a kiss by wire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VianaDAscolli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VianaDAscolli/gifts).



Programming allows artificial intelligence to learn from pattern recognition. K1-B0 understands this as an empirical fact, and thus understands that human behavior is more predictable than homo sapiens as a species would prefer to believe. 

Example: Kazuichi Soda. When he storms into his workshop, kicks the door shut, and goes for his monkey wrench first, K1-B0 knows he’s been teased by his classmates. When he slouches in, tugging his beanie down, and reaches for a screwdriver, K1-B0 understands that he’s flunked another exam. And when Kazuichi floats into the room, humming, a goofy smile stretching across his face, K1-B0 recognizes the handiwork of one Sonia Nevermind, princess and classmate who is entirely oblivious to Kazuichi’s existence.

“She said I had grease on my cheek,” Kazuichi sighs, tightening a lug bolt on K1-B0’s leg joint. “And then you know what she did? She gave me her handkerchief to wipe it off!” He pauses in his work to prop his chin up on his hand, a dreamy look in his eyes. “I knew Miss Sonia would notice me eventually…”

K1-B0 nods encouragingly. Kazuichi is his creator, his caretaker, and K1-B0 supposes, the closest thing he has to a best friend, and if there’s one thing he’s learned from studying teenage-based media, it’s that best friends always support each other. K1-B0 makes sure to always respond to Kazuichi’s stories about Sonia with the appropriate gasps of wonder and hums of reassurance, even though a tiny part of him (surely some sort of bug in his code, something K1-B0 should really mention to Kazuichi one of these days) wishes that Kazuichi would not fawn over the princess quite so much. Especially since (not that K1-B0 would ever, ever bring it up) it seems like Miss Sonia does not quite return his affections. 

“That sounds very nice. Has she offered you anything like this before?”

“Nope!” Kazuichi shoots a toothy grin at K1-B0. “She’s finally starting to pay attention to me!”

K1-B0 reciprocates his smile, an essential step that should allow him to share in the happiness of his best friend. But something must be wrong, because instead of the joy of successful human communication, K1-B0 only feels the cold pinpricks of an emotion he has come to associate with the days Kazuichi leaves him alone in the lab to hang out with his classmates. There is a name for it. K1-B0 is certain he would have no problem identifying it if he chose to. But maybe — oh, he knows this is not good for his developmental process, he knows he needs to be able to sort and label — maybe K1-B0 doesn’t want to put a name on the thing he feels when Kazuichi gushes over Sonia. It’s an emotion with a hint of _she-will-disappoint-him,_ and a hint of _he-deserves-to-be-happy_ , but also, just a sprinkling of _what-would-it-feel-like-if-he-were-talking-about-me?_

“That’s wonderful,” K1-B0 says aloud. “Miss Sonia would be more than lucky to have someone like you as a boyfriend, Kazuichi.”

Kazuichi blushes, and it is very endearing on him. K1-B0 makes a mental note to learn how to blush. “T-Thanks, man. I-I’d really — I’d be good to her! I’d treat her like a princess! Uh.” He laughs, and K1-B0 feels something warm spark inside of him. Humans always want their friends to be happy. “I mean. She’s already a princess, duh.”

“But you would be very kind to her.” K1-B0 beams at Kazuichi. “You would care for her the way you’d care for me — with tenderness and love. You would not let a single detail be overlooked when it comes to her happiness.”

Kazuichi’s hands still on K1-B0’s leg. “W-wow,” he mumbles. “You sure have a lot of confidence in me.”

“Of course!” K1-B0 doesn’t understand how Kazuichi could doubt his words. He’s seen his best friend’s kindness firsthand. “You’re a good person! You’ve done so much for me!”

Kazuichi frowns down at his grease-stained fingers. “How can you say that? I haven’t even given you a name.”

K1-B0 blinks. “Yes, you have. I’m K1-B0!”

“That’s not a real name.” Kazuichi absentmindedly trails his fingers up the arch of K1-B0’s metal foot, and though he doesn’t mean it to, it tickles. K1-B0 squirms a little, a giggle rising in his throat, but he bites it down. This is clearly a serious discussion — a “heart-to-heart” — and it is not the appropriate time for laughing. “K1-B0… you deserve something more—”

“Human?”

Kazuichi considers that. “Yeah. I was gonna say ‘cute,’ actually, but yeah, human.”

The heat sensors in K1-B0’s body flicker on. The pliable metal of his face begins to warm up. Overstimulation. “C-Cute?” he manages.

Kazuichi nods. “Yeah, something that suits you. You’re a pretty cute robot, you know.”

K1-B0 would prefer to be a cute human, but that preference is lost in the sudden explosion of sensory data that swamps his programming. _Cute. He thinks I’m cute?_ Of course he does, K1-B0 knows rationally, because Kazuichi built him, but at the same time, he knows that he has fallen victim to the classic human flaw of being unable to separate one’s physical appearance from one’s emotions. _Kazuichi thinks I’m cute. “Attractive in a pretty or endearing way.” Me!_

“I’ve got it!” Kazuichi cries, dropping his wrench. “K1-B0 kinda sounds like ‘Kiibo.’ So I’ll call you Kiibo!”

If one is being named — or nicknamed, rather, which is a classic teenage tradition — perhaps the average person might prefer something a little more creative. But K1-B0 — ahem, Kiibo — takes one look at Kazuichi’s shining, proud face, and says without hesitation, “I love it very much!”


End file.
